|

class FeatureThatShouldBeSimple 😏 {
    private $dependencies;
    private $coffeeLevel = 0;
    private $sanity = 🙂;


    public function implementFeature($requirements) {

        // First attempt
        try {
            return $this->attemptOne($requirements);
        } catch (Exception $e) {
            $this->sanity -= 😠;
            $this->logError("Attempt 1 failed", $e);
        }

        // Second attempt (with workaround)
        try {
            return $this->addHackyFix($requirements);
        } catch (Exception $e) {
            $this->sanity -= 😡;
            $this->logError("Attempt 2 failed, Kill me", $e);
        }
        
        // Final attempt before deadline
        try {
            $result = $this->copyFromChatGPT($requirements);
            $this->sanity -=  🤬; // F
            return $result;
        } catch (Exception $e) {
            $this->sanity = 0;
            throw new Exception("I give up. Maybe tomorrow.");
        }
    }
    
    // ... 200 more lines of struggling code ...
    }